However, I have seen fewer posts about people, activists even, who are struggling with their own internalized Islamophobia or anti-black racism. As a non-Muslim, non-black person raised predominantly in the United States, I have been steeped in Islamophobic and anti-black value systems that benefit me. Heck – I enjoy those benefits! They are the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual freedoms that allow me to go, think, feel and believe what I want, i.e. to be me.
Therefore, I have to know that challenges to Islamophobia or anti-black racism are going to be direct challenges to the "me" I know and the perception of the world that I've been taught is "normal," or "business as usual." And so, I often don't believe these challenges. It seems too much to believe that the preferences in food, language, clothes, values, *social justice values* I subscribe to can cost Muslim and black people their lives (as well as many other identities that are systemically devalued). I write these challenges off as "extreme cases" or "sociopolitical embellishments" (Azmi). I don't amplify their voices the way I would those fighting for my own parents, cousins, nieces and nephews.
You know who suffers from my disbelief? Not me. You know who does? The next Razan Abu-Salhas, Yusor Abu-Salhas, Deah Barakats, Mike Browns, Eric Garners, Trayvon Martins, and Renisha McBrides.